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08/01/2007: "~ Out of work.... again ~"

Enough time has passed that I can say without hurting that I am out of work. again.......






You know I had worked for this person, and love him and respect his knowledge ever so much. I considered it my mission to work for him, help develop his website, and assist him in all his endeavors. You may also know that he is a pedant, which causes him to frustrate easily when people do not share his vision or idea of how things should be done. I would always say that he wants me to read his mind and have something done yesterday. hehe!

Well, I had posted some about some health issues that I was facing. Yes, it turns out they were primarily stress-related. I thought I was dealing well with my mission, but I found out different.

While I was hurting from over-exerting myself--I was carrying things above the 20 lbs that I'm supposed to be limited to so that my arthritis doesn't worsen so quickly, and I worked on my knees, even though one is arthritic, and the other was immensely swollen with water on the knee from a fall--I was also suffering emotionally, and it appears others also were hurting and being frustrated. One of them was my dear boss. He who overlooked his own health issues, offered his own vehicles and equipment for the trip, and organized so well became frustrated as it appeared that we team members just couldn't understand what he was wanting us to do.

In his frustration--do I make excuses where they aren't needed?--he yelled at me several times, drew his fist back at me, and also spoke unkindly to the other team members. Even after apologizing to me for speaking in a demeaning way to me, he continued to do so. He also told jokes (once using the N-word) and offered "cold beer" from the cooler in a loud voice that could be overheard by those not in our group. Yes, it was a funny because it was root beer, but some were afraid our witness could be tarnished.

Needless to say, my reports home were not the most pleasant for Hubby. Somewhere during the week I lost my vision for the job, and my entire body and soul began to ache, as though I was losing my best friend. While I was hiding out sick in the bed after we returned home, Hubby went to speak with the boss and resigned me from the job.

I think if I had rested a week, I would have returned to work, but the joy would have left. It is probably for the better.

In retrospect, the boss had said he would have fired me many times if it weren't for the website, so perhaps his new gal will suit him better, and he can just pay me for website changes until he finds somebody else to take care of that.

BT, if you find yourself here sometime, please know that I do love you, and knew you even before I took the job. I deemed it my mission to serve as a buffer for you with other people. If I hadn't seen you do the same thing to the other team members, and if it had remained private between you and me, I could have continued, but public humiliation and the recognition that you treat EVERYBODY like that eroded my vision for our mission. It likely humiliated you to be seen that way as well, and we probably could not have worked well together anymore.

God bless you in your mission, and may He continue to keep you in His care.