The Truth About Santa Claus

Strange, but true:

In the beginning was God. Children were happy but most Big People were dissastisfied and unhappy, so God sent his son Jesus to the world to show them how to be happy.

The Big People killed him.

Big People were upset with children for being happy all the time and started spanking them and telling them they were bad. This made the children unhappy and broke God's heart.

"What shall I do?" wondered God.

Then, back in the 1800's in Germany, Patty Kake's great-great-great-grandpa said, "What if you gave people presents?"

God answered, "I already gave the best present I could think of, my son, and they killed him. Thank me, I could raise him up and he is still here with me. Then I gave them the gift of eternal life, and they scoff me. What's left to give?"

Patty Kake's ggggpa scratched his white head and stroked his white beard and thought. He thought and thought for a very long time. A neighbor kid came up to him and asked what he was thinking about. GGGGpa tugged on the belt around his big tummy, took a peppermint from his pocket and popped it into his mouth.

The neighbor kid, Claus, smiled and his eyes got really big and sparkled. GGGGpa pulled out another peppermint and gave it to Claus. This made Claus very happy and he giggled and gave GGGGpa a big hug then ran off to play.

"Well, now," said God, "Little Claus is such a saint. He sure was happy about such a little thing as a peppermint! That gives me something to think about!"

GGGGpa was thinking, too. He thought maybe lots of kids would be happy about such a little thing as a peppermint, and wanted to try it out. After children went to bed at night, GGGGpa would go to their houses and leave peppermints for them. Sometimes the dog would eat them, or their Big People parents would find them and throw them away.

Soon GGGGpa thought about leaving the peppermints in the children's shoes or socks so that they would find them as soon as they woke up, and the Big People and dogs wouldn't find them first.

This seemed to work very well, but GGGGpa was getting so tired. He wasn't so young anymore and he needed some rest.

Well, it seems a couple of the kids had seen GGGGpa leaving the peppermints, and every time they passed by GGGGpa's house they were all happy and eager. When GGGGpa noticed this, he said, "Hey! anticipation of presents makes kids happy too! I could maybe pick a day or two in the year to leave candy for the kids, and they could always keep that anticipation and happiness in their hearts as they looked forward to it. I could get some rest, and the kids would still be happy."

Now, God had been keeping watch over GGGGpa and they had talked from time to time. GGGGpa remembered about God's gifts and decided to accept God's gift of eternal life, so he could then make children happy forever.

God's blessings felt so good to GGGGpa that he wanted to make God happy too, so he decided that if he gave peppermints to children on Jesus' birthday, children would look forward to Christmas and remember Jesus and give thanks to God.

GGGGpa never told anybody who saw him at his work what his name was, but asked them to just remember the little boy who was such a saint and gave him the idea, little Claus. This is how he got the nickname Santa Claus.

To explain his red suit, GGGGpa says that in the winter in the snow it doesn't pay to wear white for safety, so he chose red. "You can never be too careful," he's been heard to say.