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11/04/2002 Archived Entry: "angie"

Angie sent this one:

Question: How many menopausal women does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: One. Just one. And do you know why it only takes one? Because nobody else in this dang house knows how to change a light bulb. They don't e-v-e-n know the light bulb is burned out. They would all sit in this house in the dark for days before they tried to figure it out! And once they had figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they have been in the same darn cupboard for the past 17 years!

But if they did by some miracle actually find the light bulbs, two days later, the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the stupid light bulb would still be in the same spot ... under the light!

And underneath the chair would be the crumpled wrapping the stupid light bulb came in!

Why?

Because nobody in this house ever even carries out the garbage!

It's a wonder that we haven't all suffocated from the piles of garbage that are 12 feet deep through the whole dang house.

It will take the National Guard to clean this pigsty.

No, e-v-e-n pigs would reject this place!

I'm sorry. What did you ask me?